Hi, My name is Mea and I am a Feminist

"I myself have never been able to find out what feminism is; I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat or a prostitute." ~Rebecca West

 

My parents say I was born a feminist.  From the time I was young, I always recognized and questioned the gender rules that were forced upon us as the “norms” of society. “Don’t sit with your legs open, it’s unladylike, “ my grandmother would say.  “Ladies always cross their legs at the ankles.” I’d stare down at my legs spread open, or even crossed underneath me “Indian style,” they way they taught us to sit in a circle at school. The boy sitting across from me in the doctor’s office didn’t have to cross his legs. I blinked in silence, questioning what it even meant to be ladylike and wondered, at the age of six, who decided that just because I was born a female, I had to sit a certain way.

 

So what is a feminist? I’m still trying to understand that myself. I’m proud of calling myself a feminist, and I love studying the history of feminism and hearing the empowering stories of feminists. Yet, I think it’s sad that I must label myself that way, as proud as I am to have that title. If women were truly seen as equals to men, women would not have to declare themselves or have others declare them as “feminists.” Or better yet, there would be a more well known and frequently used term for men who are in touch with their sexuality.

 

I remember my first day in Women Studies 101. It was sophomore year in my small conservative school. The first day of class, our professor asked us, “Raise your hand if you would call yourself a feminist.” It was as though her words fell upon deaf ears. A single hand did not raise that day. Somehow, we were all interested in taking this elective, yet none of us wanted to consider ourselves to be a “feminist.” That was too taboo.

 

I am a feminist. I am proud to say it. But for a long time, I would never dare to use that term to describe myself. I had always felt that women were treated as unequals, and yearned for the day (and still am) when I wouldn’t hear the words “you can’t because you are a girl.” I hated accepting that anything in life was not possible because of my sex. Yet, I believed in the stereotype that to be a woman, you must despise all men, and that men were the enemy.

 

This seemed to be the general consensus of the class. When asked why all twenty-five of us did not consider ourselves feminists, students started calling out “because I don’t hate men.”

 

I laugh at that thought now. I love men just as much as I love women. I now recognize that not all feminists are men-hating, or really any of the stereotypes that may be suggested of them. Just as being a “woman”  or a “man” has it’s own stereotypes, so does the word and the idea of being a “feminist.”

 

To me, a feminist is anyone, male or female, who loves and is proud of women enough to work towards an equal playing field. A feminist does not discriminate or accept the phrase “she can’t because she is a woman.” A feminist may not be standing on the corner holding signs at a rally, but he or she will do his or her own part to educate and inform others to not just accept, but change inequalities based on gender in this country. Even changing the mind of one other person, can make a difference.

 

The truth is, society must be changed as a whole to continue with this feminist movement. We do not have to start with men and change their outlook towards us. We do not have to consider them the enemy. Women need our help too. Many women do not even realized how marginalized they are in society because they have always accepted and never questioned the gender differences that were forced upon us from the day we were born. Males and females can be as equally sexist, or perhaps just equally blind to these unequal gender issues that lie before us.

 

I propose a change. Even if it means changing the mind of  your next door neighbor. America, I ask you to show us why we live in the land of “equality and justice for all.” Speak your mind. Don’t sit back and accept. Fight the fight, one man or woman at a time. Change will be ours tomorrow, but we have to work for it today. I ask you to rise, Feminists of America.

 

~Mea