I don't really know where to begin with this blog. As you can see from my previous entries, they are all stretched few and far in between. I have been struggling to keep an up to date blog so that I can pursue my interests in gender and feminist work, but the little distractions that life hands us every day has kept me from maintaining this blog as an up to date piece of work and expression of my mind.
As of right now, I am currently writing this from inside a cafe in San Francisco. I am a native New Yorker, so why am I in San Francisco? I am currently studying sex through the National Sexuality Resource Center, at their Summer Institute program. I have been having a crazy, sexy, beautiful love affair with San Francisco and this program that I am in. I am so intrigued, inspired, and can't get enough of it all, yet at times so perplexed and inquisitive. My occasional confusion only inspires me to want more, to take more in, to savor every taste of what I am being served and hold back the desire ask for seconds. But I can't resist, and I keep coming back for more.
I have learned so much from my classwork, my peers, and my experience. I have studied and found an interest in topics such as sex tourism, binaries, sex education, social responsibility and sexual attitudes, power dynamics, cross-generational relationships, polyamory, genderism, sex panics, kink, and sex for those with disabilities. I hope that in this blog, I will be able to write at least one entry that explores each of these topics just a little bit more.
Here, I have experience a great deal of new adventures. Some firsts include: the PRIDE parade, going to a gay club, samba dancing, learning how to garden and tend chickens, getting an in-depth explanation to the art of "fisting,"taking a trip to a safe sex club (although we just got a lecture in the sex ed room, no tour!), and have just met an incredible number of people from all different backgrounds that I have never known on such a personal level before.
I really have found such a passion with exploring sexuality, sociology, and the San Francisco environment. It gives me the kind of pleasure that is almost as intense as an orgasm.
I'll write more on the topics mentioned above, plus others, in blogs that are soon to follow. I will try to make a list of local resources that I have discovered an been introduced to in San Francisco. Although this blog is in it's early stages with possibly no fans, if you should come across this, please leave some topic ideas for me!
Keep it real, kids. Til next time,
Mea
Friday, July 9, 2010
Monday, July 6, 2009
Housework
According to this article, (http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/personal/06/17/housework.relationships/index.html) men are doing more than they used to. This article says that "in 1976, men did about six hours of housework per week; in 2005, that had increased to about 13 hours. Women, meanwhile, decreased their weekly housework from 26 hours in 1976 to 17 hours in 2005. Researchers based their conclusions on economic, health and social data collected on 8,000 American families since 1968".
However the article also states that there is a downside, "Now, the bad news: The same research found that men create, on average, seven more hours of housework a week for women. That extra work may not be as obvious as doing the dishes or mowing the lawn. So-called "emotional labor" -- tasks like writing holiday cards, scheduling doctor appointments and planning family gatherings -- is too often left to wives, says University of Michigan sociologist Pamela Smock."
Is our division of housework labor becoming more balanced? What do you think?
The main focus of this article is about housework and how it relates to sex, but I just figured that I would shift the focus just a little bit..
http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/personal/06/17/housework.relationships/index.html
However the article also states that there is a downside, "Now, the bad news: The same research found that men create, on average, seven more hours of housework a week for women. That extra work may not be as obvious as doing the dishes or mowing the lawn. So-called "emotional labor" -- tasks like writing holiday cards, scheduling doctor appointments and planning family gatherings -- is too often left to wives, says University of Michigan sociologist Pamela Smock."
Is our division of housework labor becoming more balanced? What do you think?
The main focus of this article is about housework and how it relates to sex, but I just figured that I would shift the focus just a little bit..
http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/personal/06/17/housework.relationships/index.html
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Withdrawal as a Method of Contraception
Recently, an article was published in the journal Contraception about the effectiveness of withdrawal during sex as a birth control method. According to this study, written by Rachel K. Jones of the Guttmacher Institute, this method of birth control is not as ineffective as previously thought.
"The best available estimates indicate that with "perfect use," 4% of couples relying on withdrawal will become pregnant within a year, compared with 2% of couples relying on the male condom. More realistic estimates suggest that with "typical use," 18% of couples relying on withdrawal will become pregnant within a year, compared with 17% of those using the male condom. In other words, with either method, more than eight in 10 avoid pregnancy" (http://jezebel.com/5259554/can-we-stop-shaming-women-who-practice-withdrawal-now).
These statistics tell us that the difference in effectiveness between the two birth control methods, using a condom and withdrawal, are really not that large.
I am surprised to find this statistic out. Sure, of course I knew that women were not fertile all month long, so of course withdrawl could be effective at times. But what about if he has some pre-ejaculate? This has been a long standing question of mine.
According to Dr. Debby Herbenick (mysexprofessor.com), the chances of getting pregnant through pre-ejaculate is highly unlikely. On her website, Dr. Herbenick writes, "Pre-ejaculate itself doesn’t contain sperm (however, if a guy has recently ejaculated and not yet peed, then there is the chance that the pre-ejaculate could pick sperm up and carry them out of the body, which would be a pregnancy risk). However, assuming there are no sperm in a man’s urethra because he has recently peed after this last ejaculation, then there should be little to no risk of pregnancy occurring from pre-ejaculate which would make the withdrawal method - when used perfectly - a highly effective choice for pregnancy risk reduction.
I guess my next concern would be, what if he does it wrong? According to Dr. Herbenick, "Many men cannot control the timing of their ejaculation (about 20-25% of men come very quickly and with little control)" (www.mysexprofessor.com).
While this study is just about the effectiveness of withdrawal on pregnancy, I must admit that a big concern of mine when it comes to relying on withdrawal is about the transmission of STDs. This study asks health educators to talk about the effectiveness of withdrawal as a birth control method. Yes, it is great that it could be effective. Yes, I do support talking about this. And of course, there is no doubt in my mind that the conversation of STDs will be covered. But I also think that many teens and young adults place the chance of pregnancy as higher priority than the chance of getting an STD. I worry that many will use withdrawal with little hesitation and will show disregard for the chance of getting an STD. I cannot support this theory with any literature or statistics, but it is my belief that pregnancy prevention comes before STD prevention for a lot of adults. I base this off of personal experience with those who are close to me.
I guess you can say that I'm still skeptical. I don't expect there to be some sort of sexual revolution in which everyone just starts using pulling out as the one and only birth control method given this information. I just worry that effective or not, withdrawal is not necessarily a safe or healthy one.
"The best available estimates indicate that with "perfect use," 4% of couples relying on withdrawal will become pregnant within a year, compared with 2% of couples relying on the male condom. More realistic estimates suggest that with "typical use," 18% of couples relying on withdrawal will become pregnant within a year, compared with 17% of those using the male condom. In other words, with either method, more than eight in 10 avoid pregnancy" (http://jezebel.com/5259554/can-we-stop-shaming-women-who-practice-withdrawal-now).
These statistics tell us that the difference in effectiveness between the two birth control methods, using a condom and withdrawal, are really not that large.
I am surprised to find this statistic out. Sure, of course I knew that women were not fertile all month long, so of course withdrawl could be effective at times. But what about if he has some pre-ejaculate? This has been a long standing question of mine.
According to Dr. Debby Herbenick (mysexprofessor.com), the chances of getting pregnant through pre-ejaculate is highly unlikely. On her website, Dr. Herbenick writes, "Pre-ejaculate itself doesn’t contain sperm (however, if a guy has recently ejaculated and not yet peed, then there is the chance that the pre-ejaculate could pick sperm up and carry them out of the body, which would be a pregnancy risk). However, assuming there are no sperm in a man’s urethra because he has recently peed after this last ejaculation, then there should be little to no risk of pregnancy occurring from pre-ejaculate which would make the withdrawal method - when used perfectly - a highly effective choice for pregnancy risk reduction.
I guess my next concern would be, what if he does it wrong? According to Dr. Herbenick, "Many men cannot control the timing of their ejaculation (about 20-25% of men come very quickly and with little control)" (www.mysexprofessor.com).
While this study is just about the effectiveness of withdrawal on pregnancy, I must admit that a big concern of mine when it comes to relying on withdrawal is about the transmission of STDs. This study asks health educators to talk about the effectiveness of withdrawal as a birth control method. Yes, it is great that it could be effective. Yes, I do support talking about this. And of course, there is no doubt in my mind that the conversation of STDs will be covered. But I also think that many teens and young adults place the chance of pregnancy as higher priority than the chance of getting an STD. I worry that many will use withdrawal with little hesitation and will show disregard for the chance of getting an STD. I cannot support this theory with any literature or statistics, but it is my belief that pregnancy prevention comes before STD prevention for a lot of adults. I base this off of personal experience with those who are close to me.
I guess you can say that I'm still skeptical. I don't expect there to be some sort of sexual revolution in which everyone just starts using pulling out as the one and only birth control method given this information. I just worry that effective or not, withdrawal is not necessarily a safe or healthy one.
Monday, June 1, 2009
R.I.P. Dr. George Tiller
Dr. Tiller was an inspirational and courageous man, and his death is a great loss for the many lives he has touched. I admire what he has done and his fearlessness in the face of opposition for a cause he believed in. His life, legacy, and work lives on through the many that have been touched and inspired through him.
Dr. Tiller's murder is disgusting to me. I don't understand how a person can claim to be "pro-life" and then actually take the life of another, a 67 year old man who was only practicing what he believed in and ensuring safe abortions for women. How is this man's life not significant to you?
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/06/01/us/01tiller.html
This isn't a sole event. Not only was Dr. Tiller attacked once before, but there have been a series of attacks on those who provide late term abortions for years now.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/05/31/recent-cases-of-abortionr_n_209528.html
Dr. Tiller's murder is disgusting to me. I don't understand how a person can claim to be "pro-life" and then actually take the life of another, a 67 year old man who was only practicing what he believed in and ensuring safe abortions for women. How is this man's life not significant to you?
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/06/01/us/01tiller.html
This isn't a sole event. Not only was Dr. Tiller attacked once before, but there have been a series of attacks on those who provide late term abortions for years now.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/05/31/recent-cases-of-abortionr_n_209528.html
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Friday, May 8, 2009
Intimate Partner Violence
The whole Chris Brown beating Rihanna story may be yesterday's news, but violence against intimate partners is not. I don't believe that any man should hit a woman, or vice versa really. What makes me the most angry about this situation is the number of people who have said to me, "I wonder what she did to deserve it."
I never once thought about that before someone asked me. Probably because I know that often if someone hits a woman like that, he or she may have a temper streak that is not often warranted, or perhaps just learned from parental modelling. I suppose it is understandable to wonder why he was so angry, but I don't think it is okay to wonder "if she deserved it."
Does she have to have done something wrong? She could have been yelling and screaming, accusing and cussing, or even cheating and I would STILL say that she did not deserve to be hurt by her ANYONE, male or female, like that. Violence is not okay regardless of who does it.
It is my personal wish that Rihanna would speak out about her incident. I understand that now may not be the time, but I hope that one day she will be a positive role model for men and women who have been abused by family members and lovers.
- 65% of women physically assaulted by an intimate partner report having been assaulted multiple times by the same partner.
- Domestic violence is primarily a crime against women; however, men can be abused as well. In 2001, women accounted for 85% of the victims of intimate partner violence and men accounted for approximately 15%.2 Gay men, lesbians, bisexual and transgender persons are just as likely as heterosexual women to be abused by their partner.
- Intimate partner violence affects people of all ages. Women 16 to 24 experience the highest rate of intimate partner violence; approximately one in five female high school students’ reports being physically and/or sexually abused by a dating partner. Nearly 6% of couples 60 and older experienced physical violence in their relationship within the past year, and of these, 40% reported the first violent incident occurred at least 25 years ago.
These statistics can be found at: http://www.ctcadv.org/WhatisDomesticViolence/MythsFacts/tabid/168/Default.aspx
-Mea
I never once thought about that before someone asked me. Probably because I know that often if someone hits a woman like that, he or she may have a temper streak that is not often warranted, or perhaps just learned from parental modelling. I suppose it is understandable to wonder why he was so angry, but I don't think it is okay to wonder "if she deserved it."
Does she have to have done something wrong? She could have been yelling and screaming, accusing and cussing, or even cheating and I would STILL say that she did not deserve to be hurt by her ANYONE, male or female, like that. Violence is not okay regardless of who does it.
It is my personal wish that Rihanna would speak out about her incident. I understand that now may not be the time, but I hope that one day she will be a positive role model for men and women who have been abused by family members and lovers.
- 65% of women physically assaulted by an intimate partner report having been assaulted multiple times by the same partner.
- Domestic violence is primarily a crime against women; however, men can be abused as well. In 2001, women accounted for 85% of the victims of intimate partner violence and men accounted for approximately 15%.2 Gay men, lesbians, bisexual and transgender persons are just as likely as heterosexual women to be abused by their partner.
- Intimate partner violence affects people of all ages. Women 16 to 24 experience the highest rate of intimate partner violence; approximately one in five female high school students’ reports being physically and/or sexually abused by a dating partner. Nearly 6% of couples 60 and older experienced physical violence in their relationship within the past year, and of these, 40% reported the first violent incident occurred at least 25 years ago.
These statistics can be found at: http://www.ctcadv.org/WhatisDomesticViolence/MythsFacts/tabid/168/Default.aspx
-Mea
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Equal Pay Day!
This is a topic that I can say I am VERY familiar with. My sophomore year of college, in 2005, I was told I had to write a paper on a policy and follow up on the transformation of it over the years. The typical feminist that I am, I decided to write my paper on the Equal Pay Act of 1963. This paper the next year would transform and expand to turn into my Research Methods paper on Discrimination Against Women in the Workforce, which proved to be a much harder paper to write due to a limited number of resources. The following year I followed up on previous papers with my thesis, which was on Discrimination Against Mothers in the Workforce. My thesis was not only the most challenging paper of the three because it had to be about 25 pages long, but mostly because of the lack of resources and published material on this topic.
When I told a relative that my thesis was on this topic, my relative responded with, "It must be a hard paper to write. Discrimination in the workforce doesn't really exist anymore. Women are equals and discrimination is illegal. That's the reason you can't find literature on it. It's not as prevelant as you thought."
I would love to say that he is correct, but I just can't. Discrimination does exist in many forms, the one that I'm most familiar with due to my research being that of equal pay. When I wrote my first paper in 2005, I recall noting that in 2004, women were paid nearly 77 cents to the dollar that every man makes. (http://www.pay-equity.org/info-time.html) As of this year, it is now a whopping 78 cents. Some improvement is always great, but I would also like to point out 2 things. 1)The wage gap has only closed 49 cents since 1963 and 2)It could always go back down again next year. Change is change, however it does not define permanence.
At this rate, the wage gap has closed less than 1 cent a year. This gap shows us that discrimination is living and well. The lack of literature on this topic and the assumption by others that women are considered to be complete equals because "discrimination is illegal" tell me that we still have a lot of work to do before a significant change can take place. The battle is not over. I can only hope that the initiative Obama has already taken and the initiatives that will take place in the next 4 years, along with the work of other men and women who care about this issue, can help us get closer to bridging this gap before another 46 years pass.
~Mea
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